Write Your Story, Read Your Story

Write Your Story, Read Your Story

The other day a Veteran kept pointing out to me that somehow my PTSD was different (in the context of how people react to PTSD) because I wasn't a Veteran. The conversation was about an Army Times story about Veterans and socio-economic skills. My feeling is that it is the civilian employers who need to be educated, and that anyone with any kind of military duty should be given respect and understanding when being considered for employment. The Veteran speaking to me felt I was wrong, and that Veterans should be treated like any other person. But they aren't like any other person. Not even like civilians like me who have had PTSD for over 27 years, diagnosed prior to soldiers being diagnosed (as far as I know). Soldiers of any level offer to die for us first. They cannot help but put others first, which is the definition of compassion.

I have seen people look at me differently, suddenly, if they figure out, or are told I have PTSD. "Oh, so you can't handle emotions" is what they say, which is absolutely not what PTSD is. PTSD is a brain trauma, a brain injury, and a person's thinking process changes. It is not either solely emotional, or solely violent, either, or both. It irks me that our "National Center For PTSD" is actually a VA center, does not use civilian cases in their research, and basically, pretends that PTSD was invented by the military. However, they do have some very good resources for PTSD patients. One is a report on a recent breakthrough of a possible blood test to diagnose PTSD (Military Times).

As you can see, my opinions don't always match military assessments of PTSD, I see it from a slightly different angle because mine is from a severe car accident, but my brain has PTSD just like a soldier's brain has PTSD because biologically our brains are the same. So, often, when I find something that works for me, I talk about it, you never know, it might work for you.

I have found that writing my story down, and then reading it - using it as a "continual read", is very beneficial. On the surface, I am reading words like car, hood gone, bank a mile away, where is my son, head trauma, but in reality I am reminding myself of words that balance it- survived, fought ticket, succeeded in court, son is fine, got the car frame rebuilt, etc., all the positives are as remembered as the negatives. It becomes a dialog of the event, yes, but with both good and bad, and being human, most of us hold onto the good more than the bad. So if you have PTSD, I suggest you write your story and then read your story. Not really in journal form or diary form, keep it succinct and to the point. Pretend you are writing a police report, list the facts. That is my suggestion, after many years of journaling myself. Keeping it like a report immediately validates it as an "accident" or "incident", and NOT A CHOICE. I mention it briefly in this video about using bare minimum supplies: 

White 1891 VSIIb Treadle Stitching a Plastic Book

All you really need is a tarp and some chalk, or a brown bag and a pencil, or your favorite pen and paper.

Pieces of America Potholder Quilt(s)

When I was between the ages of 11 and 14, I made a Potholder Quilt. Recently I was able to buy it back, it having been lost in a move many years ago. Each of the squares of this quilt meant something to me: one is my grandmother's house, one is a Howard Johnson's Ice Cream Parlor, and one is all of the Barbies I took everywhere with me. My quilt is made up of Pieces of America.

When I received the Quilt back, it smelled just like the "wayback" of our 1957 (or 60) Chevy Station Wagon, my dog Polly, and someone else's loving cedar chest. My pieces of America had been kept safe for me.

I now want to pass that along to Veteran's and am planning future quilts as potholder quilts. I had looked into this before, but potholders are no longer inexpensive, and many potholders are "designer" or "artist" potholders. I have now found a source for fairly inexpensive potholder loops, Dick Blick Art Supplies, a company I have purchased from as a Fine Artist for over 27 years.

Originally I had found that a potholder quilt would cost about 356.00 for the loops. Using Blick's loops, and purchasing enough at a time to get free shipping, I am able to reduce that cost to 165.00 per quilt.

Below is a picture of my quilt:

I have PTSD, and many of the images I have "seen" in my mind since my car accident have been my quilt. I wasn't able to verbalize this when my quilt first arrived, which I believe is due to my PTSD. I do have two videos up about this quilt:

Vintage Potholder Quilt

Vintage Potholder Quilt 2

I will be setting up a GoFundMe page that will ask for donations totalling 165.00 per quilt for a Pieces of America quilt for a United States Veteran. Each square is really an "acre", a home, a piece of land in America. I will post the GoFundMe link here when I have that set up. I am on a limited income, and all assistance and donations for honoring our Veterans is appreciated.

GoFundMe $495.00 Campaign for Three Pieces of America Potholder Quilts for three homeless Veterans.

Saint Michael, Defend Us In Battle - In Song

Saint Michael, Defend Us In Battle - In Song

Read Their Names Bring Them Home MIA Korean War

A post by me on Twitter June 16, 2019:

@SecPompeo @POTUS @USArmy @USNavy @USMC @usairforce @USCG "So US policy isn't to immediately recover soldiers whatever the cost, but the US does have an obligation to recover everyone eventually." 7800+ MIIA Korean War READ THEIR NAMES BRING THEM HOME

Is "no soldier left behind" an official policy of the US armed forces?

https://www.dpaa.mil/Our-Missing/Korean-War/ … @SenMarkey @SenWarren @USRepKeating READ THEIR NAMES BRING THEM HOME

Does the US PROMISE that no soldier will be left behind? When people enlist, and offer to die for all of rest, do they expect that PROMISE to be kept? A Pledge of Allegiance is a PROMISE to always be true-To each of the people or agencies above, where do you stand on your PROMISE that no soldier will be left behind? I have recently faced a huge moral dilemma about using anything Made in China for Veterans quilts-China backs NK, NK refuses to return 7800+ soldiers. Sewing with American products is almost impossible-so I am using my grandmother's Singer-

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I can buy hand sewing needles Made in America, can use vintage toy machines- @SINGERCO mfgs in China now, so I thought they were out completely.

Singer never promised to stay in the USA, and what supercedes the name Singer on my machine is my PROMISE to my grandmother. To never give her machine away. Simple. This machine stitched my mother's baby clothes. My grandmother was given it when the seamstress died, and loved it dearly. I PROMISED her I would take care of it - so @SecPompeo and @POTUS and others - WHAT DOES YOUR WORD MEAN?

@SecPompeo @POTUS @USArmy @USNavy @USMC @usairforce @USCG @SenWarren @SenMarkey @USRepKeating YOUR WORD EITHER MATTERS OR IT DOESN'T - READ THEIR NAMES BRING THEM HOME

Thank you Alberta Fickett Skinner, wife of Chester T. Fickett, @USArmy , Battle of the Bulge Purple Heart Recipient, for knowing that my word meant, I Promise. Forever.

READ THEIR NAMES BRING THEM HOME

7800+ MIA Korean War

My Video- Sewing American

My American-made Gateway sewing machine's stitches are not consistent enough to use on a Quilts For Veterans quilt, and the Dexter handheld throat space is too short to add the stars to the quilt blocks.

My beige Singer model 20 with the broken handle supercedes @SINGERCO moving to China because I once saved my brother's life with this machine (details withheld). My brother is a @usairforce Veteran-he wouldn't have been, without my Singer model 20.

I now have a hand-sewing needle on the way from Pam Turner, the only woman in America who makes hand sewing needles, a Promise and my grandmother's Singer 99-13 now a handcrank, and a beige Singer model 20 that needs a new handle. I can do anything.

You see, our words, our deeds, what we give to American Veterans, what we do everyday to thank them, it really does either matter or it doesn't. I think it matters.

Thank you Joe

People are often generous, as was Joe, a seller on Ebay who sold me vintage wooden spools for my machines. The shipping was more than either of us expected, and well, Joe said, "That's Okay" (my words).  Thank you Joe. Each act of kindness is always noticed and appreciated.

Sewing American -Hand Sewing and Hand Quilting

So, what really goes into making a quilt for a Veteran?  You would probably guess that it's fabric, batting, time.  It has become more than that.

Recently I learned that Singer, as a company, only now manufactures their machines in China or Brazil. China backs North Korea, and North Korea, who we are still at war with on the books in Congress, is refusing to return our war dead.  There are over 7800 soldiers MIA Korean War .

The other sewing machine companies that originally would have made my machines are White and Brother. White Sewing Machine Company made my White treadle, but the name is now owned by a holding company, and not used to make machines. In 1986, White Sewing Machine Co. was part of Electrolux of Sweden.  Brother is a company founded in Japan, and my Brother machine is made in China.  So, for the past week or so, I, yes, have been freaking out, because all my machines, even though made many years ago in America or in an allied country, other than the Brother, are, in name, connected to backing China's economy, which supports North Korea, which is still the enemy.

I spent several days asking other sewing machine "people" what they thought, I spent more days trying to tell myself "once they come through customs as available on the US market, sewing machines become American", right? It's been a very bad week. My father loved and collected antique machines.  I had made him at least 3 quilts. It's all connected, and now it's connected to backing China as opposed to the U.S.A.

So, I now am going to hand sew and hand quilt the quilts. But, yes, where are hand sewing needles made?  (At this point I am sure my mother would be telling me to just accept the fact that we do not make these things in America any more). And I'm crying.  There hasn't been a sewing machine made in the U.S since the 1980s, according to sewing people. Hand sewing needles are mostly made in other countries.

So, does "no soldier left behind" count as a truth or not? If we have 7800 MIA Korean War, and using any commonly available sewing machines or needles mean we are backing the enemy - where exactly does that leave us? If China decides to stop exporting, we are going to have some problems. In addition to the large funds our government borrows from China, why isn't anyone changing this?

Yes, it's been a bad week. I am not sure if it is because I had a seizure or if it's because I read the list of names of the 188 soldiers MIA Korean War from Massachusetts.  My father was sent to occupied Berlin during the Korean War, but had his orders been different, he could be on that list. In war, every soldier is a son or daughter of America, we cannot accept that they are left behind.

As of this writing, I am selling most of my sewing machines, and am going back to hand quilting, which I had done exclusively 27 years ago. I told my grandmother I would never sell her machine - it's 1934 Singer 99-13 that I had converted to a handcrank. Until I fully decide what I am doing, I have a motor on it again, preserving it as her machine more than mine.

I looked for hand sewing needles made in America - $5.50 for ONE NEEDLE, while similar needles from Singer made in China or Brazil are $4.54 for 15.  That is America's economy problem.  I have quilting needles from the John James Company, some of them made in England, and leaning on my grandmother's heritage, who was English and Welsh (James/Cook) will "allow" me to use those.

Is it worth $5.50 for one needle for each quilt? Yes, and I will be changing to Spiral Eye Needles at some point in the near future.

Think about it, please, and encourage your Senators and Congressmen to bring our soldiers home.

Made in America, Spiral Eye Needles
South Korea has started the creation of walking trails in the DMZ - tourists will be walking over our War Dead.

Airborne Invasion of Normandy | D-Day Minus One | 1944 | World War 2 Documentary